Stupidity is not one of the essential ingredients in the perfect back yard barbeque. As much fun as grilling can be, this can be dangerous sometimes. It also can be quite amusing, unless you are the idiot he is. But then, life is composed of idiotic acts that we all are lucky to survive. God must really have a sense of humor when He gave the first cave man his idea to cook instead of eating it raw meat.
Trouble begins when one of questionable intelligence, begins to play with matches, light charcoal and gas. A friend of mine who had a gas grill trying to start the burner with a match after turning on the propane and then going home to use bathroom. He then took the time to take a drink before he went back outside.
It was a day of calm, without wind, in order to resolve some kind of gas flame. When he hit the game, you can hear all the way to whoomp home. Luckily, the fireball only singed hair on the head, arms, and his eyebrows. It should not be saying, but never leaving open the gas line for any length of time before igniting the gas.
Unfortunately, most of barbequing mishaps are due to carelessness, but nonsense. Charcoal grills are especially fun to work with and only a fool would use gasoline to start fires. Another friend of mine, Fred, did just that. He did not start off the day being stupid; that came later in the afternoon.
One Saturday afternoon in June, Fred invited all the neighbors over to see the cook out season. Everyone was in a festive mood, especially Fred. This was his big chance to show off his grilling skills to the neighbors. Now Fred has always struck me as a brick shy of a full load, but I have always been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, until Saturday afternoon. It proved my theory correct when he came very close to his home burned.
Fred's stupidity was not readily apparent in the early evening, when he prepared to light the charcoal. Not something to make a half way, he used the whole twenty pounds a bag of charcoal. He had converted a 55 gallon drum in a smoker grill that was big enough to serve the entire neighborhood. Almost a full can of charcoal lighter was used to ensure that all briquettes were burning brightly.
It did not work. While Fred went home to supervise the preparation of meat and side items, the fire went out on the grill outside. Such a dilemma! He had just used all his charcoal lighter. As one of the neighbors went to the neighboring country to take a can of fire starter, Fred took matters into his hands. Ultimately, it was his party and it was up to him to get things rolling again.
I am sure somewhere deep inside Fred's mind he knew that pouring gasoline on charcoal, charcoal, especially when it was already burning, it was not an idea. Sure enough, when gasoline hit the charcoal, a briquette that was still burning and hidden under the mound of charcoal, the fuel ignited! Whooomp! Gas can start spouting flames.
Fred threw the gas can as long as he can; right at the top of his brand new treated wood deck. When you can fall into the deck, the top came off, pouring the gas can out of the timber on deck. There was a large blaze this time. Until now we had the garden hose going and the next door neighbor was soaking down the deck Fred too. In a matter of minutes firefighters arrived and extinguished the fire. Luckily nothing but the deck was burned. Fred was looking for someone that day!
Electric kettle type smokers have become popular recently because they maintain a constant heat and they are easy to cook. A great tip is to always keep the smoker in the garage and rain. If the lava rocks at the bottom of the tray are the wet, when you turn on the electrical wand, and is buried in moist rocks; guess what? The sound this time will not be whooomp! It will be bang! Wand of power will blow apart, ruining a perfectly good smoker and cook-out.
The moral of this story is simple. If you're stupid, do not play with matches!
Trouble begins when one of questionable intelligence, begins to play with matches, light charcoal and gas. A friend of mine who had a gas grill trying to start the burner with a match after turning on the propane and then going home to use bathroom. He then took the time to take a drink before he went back outside.
It was a day of calm, without wind, in order to resolve some kind of gas flame. When he hit the game, you can hear all the way to whoomp home. Luckily, the fireball only singed hair on the head, arms, and his eyebrows. It should not be saying, but never leaving open the gas line for any length of time before igniting the gas.
Unfortunately, most of barbequing mishaps are due to carelessness, but nonsense. Charcoal grills are especially fun to work with and only a fool would use gasoline to start fires. Another friend of mine, Fred, did just that. He did not start off the day being stupid; that came later in the afternoon.
One Saturday afternoon in June, Fred invited all the neighbors over to see the cook out season. Everyone was in a festive mood, especially Fred. This was his big chance to show off his grilling skills to the neighbors. Now Fred has always struck me as a brick shy of a full load, but I have always been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, until Saturday afternoon. It proved my theory correct when he came very close to his home burned.
Fred's stupidity was not readily apparent in the early evening, when he prepared to light the charcoal. Not something to make a half way, he used the whole twenty pounds a bag of charcoal. He had converted a 55 gallon drum in a smoker grill that was big enough to serve the entire neighborhood. Almost a full can of charcoal lighter was used to ensure that all briquettes were burning brightly.
It did not work. While Fred went home to supervise the preparation of meat and side items, the fire went out on the grill outside. Such a dilemma! He had just used all his charcoal lighter. As one of the neighbors went to the neighboring country to take a can of fire starter, Fred took matters into his hands. Ultimately, it was his party and it was up to him to get things rolling again.
I am sure somewhere deep inside Fred's mind he knew that pouring gasoline on charcoal, charcoal, especially when it was already burning, it was not an idea. Sure enough, when gasoline hit the charcoal, a briquette that was still burning and hidden under the mound of charcoal, the fuel ignited! Whooomp! Gas can start spouting flames.
Fred threw the gas can as long as he can; right at the top of his brand new treated wood deck. When you can fall into the deck, the top came off, pouring the gas can out of the timber on deck. There was a large blaze this time. Until now we had the garden hose going and the next door neighbor was soaking down the deck Fred too. In a matter of minutes firefighters arrived and extinguished the fire. Luckily nothing but the deck was burned. Fred was looking for someone that day!
Electric kettle type smokers have become popular recently because they maintain a constant heat and they are easy to cook. A great tip is to always keep the smoker in the garage and rain. If the lava rocks at the bottom of the tray are the wet, when you turn on the electrical wand, and is buried in moist rocks; guess what? The sound this time will not be whooomp! It will be bang! Wand of power will blow apart, ruining a perfectly good smoker and cook-out.
The moral of this story is simple. If you're stupid, do not play with matches!
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